Just Say No

Hey Everybody,

My daughter returned home from babysitting for some friends last night with this report: "Emily likes saying, 'No.' She likes it a lot!"

Little ones are great at saying No. So what happens to us big girls--us moms--that we seem to forget how?

Sometimes we say yes with good reason. Someone asks us to do something that we feel led to do, or that we know won't be too difficult, so sure, why not? But then it snowballs, and suddenly, we feel like we are standing at the end of the buffet line with a full plate and wondering, "How will I ever take care of all this?"

Priorities.

How does a mom get her priorities in order? I think it starts with a vision for what you want for your children. In my book, Baby Boot Camp, I shared my vision for my kids. I came before the Lord when they were little bitty and asked Him to show me what my vision for my children should be. Here it is, in part:

"My vision for my children is that they become mature Christians: leading godly lives, holding the Bible as the standard by which all else is measured, capable of offering wise counsel to others, and totally accountable to God for their whole conduct and every thought..."

Whenever I was asked to do something, I went back to my vision to see how it matched up. Try writing your own vision for what you want to accomplish as a mom, and then when you are asked to take on something new, whether in ministry, at work, or in your community, ask yourself:

Will this take time away from what I am trying to do as a mom?
Will this add to the benefits I want for my family?
Are my children at ages where this is do-able, or is this something I need to put off for a few years?
Is my energy best spent in this capacity?
Can someone else do this better? Am I being asked because I am the right person for the job or because I am a warm body for the job?
Is God calling me to this?
Is this really going to be all that difficult and time-consuming?
Am I bringing a spirit of dread to this endeavor if I say "yes"?
What is my motivation if I say "yes"? If I say "no"?

Sometimes, the choice is not necessarily between what is good and what is bad, but what is good and what is best.

Think about it.

If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over
themselves; But when they attend to what He reveals, they are most blessed.
(Proverbs 29:18, The Message)

~Rebecca

Mommy, will you play with me?

I have such a horrible confession to make.  I have to do it now or I'll lose my nerve.  Our life is a tad hectic right now.  My husband started his new job in Indianapolis yesterday.  We are here in Minneapolis trying to get the house on the market by this Thursday.  There are still about ten projects that need to be done and I'm out of gas.  On Saturday we were having a marathon of sorts, getting as much done as possible.  My nine year old daughter asked me, "Mommy, will you play with me?" as I was doing yard work.  I did something I've never done before (honestly!)...I totally ignored her as I kept working.  I was so focused on getting my stuff done that I didn't even reply!  I had one of those pity parties that night, thinking, "I'm the worst mother ever."  So I went to her bed and told her in these words (maybe not recommended), "Mom was a jerk today.  I can't believe I ignored you.  I'm sorry I didn't play with you but I'm even more sorry that I ignored you.  I'm sure that hurt your feelings.  Please forgive me.  No matter what let's go to the park tomorrow."  We hugged and went to the park the next day.  I know this is a harried season for us but our kids don't really get that.  So I have to be extra careful to not ignore their needs.  I'm sure our house will sell regardless of how the yard looks.  I think God will honor me playing with my kids here and there, in between all the work that needs to be done.  We could spend a million dollars and a million hours on this house, but the sale of it is in his timing and surely in his hands.  

Please!!!  Stop what you are doing, and play with your kids.  What do they like to do??  My baby loves puzzles and playdoh, soccer and baseball; my Kindergartner loves chess and cards, soccer and baseball; my daughter will play anything as long as I do it with her.  Find what your kids love to do and just do it with them.  The chores, no matter how complex or time-consuming, will still be there.  What is your absolute priority today?  I pray it's your kids.  I think God will give you more energy and time for your chores if you make him first and your family second. I challenge you to give that a try.

Please pray that I prioritize my kiddos during this transition.   It's tough but well worth it.

Be lifted!

Sue

1 John 4:12 b

"...but if we love on another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."