Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Treasured possession

Do you remember the very first time you held your baby? To be honest, the first time I held my first child it kinda freaked me out! I'd been in labor a LONG time and I was ready to sleep for an even longer time. So when they cleaned her up and put her in my arms I had no idea what I was supposed to do. It's as if I finally understood the whole pregnancy thing but I never understood that I would hold a real person. Isn't that weird? But it's true. But I remember holding her and treasuring her. I was in awe of her face immediately. I longed to hear her peeps and squeaks. When she would jerk around with her arms and legs I giggled. I would rub her hair over and over. I counted and measured her fingers. I enjoyed changing her diapers so I could rub her sweet belly. There was nothing I didn't enjoy about her. Sure, the crying was annoying and the sleepless nights made me a crazy person. But the baby, she was precious. I treasured her.

Somehow over the course of ten years some of that has dissipated. That breaks my heart! But to be honest, stubbornness and disobedience have taken a toll. Talking back and fussing have made it hard for me to continue being in awe of my kiddos. It's hard for me as an imperfect mother to not let their problems affect how I feel about them. Yes, I love them always always. But some days I don't like them as much as I would like to. I have made a concerted effort lately to look at all of my children and try to remember what it was like to treasure everything about them. I've come to the sad realization that I will never be able to look at them exactly like I did when they were hours old. But the best part of that is that I can actually look at them with deeper affection because I've known them and loved them for so long. I have more things to love about them than just their fingers, toes, and squeaks. With life experience I've grown to admire certain qualities, adore their quirks, and treasure the gifts and talents God has blessed them with. I grin at their humor, smile at their creativity, and sigh at their competitive natures. God has blessed me with time with them which has led to a much deeper gratitude for them. Yes, I wish I could rock them all and just watch them sleep. But time marches on.

If you still have a baby, don't let go of them! People will tell you to put them in their cribs. I'm telling you, I don't still rock my older kids and wish I could! That time flies by. Hold on tight. And as they age you will learn how to hold them in brand new ways.

And to top it off, God treasures them even more than you do! Let that sink in...

Be lifted!

Deuteronomy 7:6b
The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.

post signature

No comments: