DADDY'S HOME!

Hey Everybody,

I hope that everyone had a GREAT Father's Day, celebrating with with your dad, with your spouse, or with your memories!

But I was wondering: Does your husband know how special he is EVERY DAY? Because he really should know! When my kids were little, we always made a big deal out of Daddy's arriving home. (Now that one is driving, we make a big deal out of her arriving home!) In the summer, the kids would have parades. Nothing is quite so cute as seeing toddlers with pots and pans banging a "Welcome Home!" for Daddy in the front yard. They would also work on pictures of what they had done that day to set beside Daddy's plate. Sometimes (and I admit, we still do this), someone will cry out the infamous words, "Daddy's home! Pretend you're asleep!" and everyone just drops, wherever he/she happens to be, into a sound sleep! After a long day at work, Daddy longs to come home to happy children and a happy wife!

If you stay at home, you can do several things to make your husband's transition from worklife to homelife smooth and easy.

1. Problems? WAIT to discuss them after dinner.
2. Dinner? Have something in the oven, in the crockpot, or on its way from your favorite pizza place. Some husbands enjoy winding down from the day by getting a meal together. If you happen to have a husband like this (blessed one!), then be sure you have all the ingredients together that he needs!
3. You? What kind of shape are you in, Mom? Take 5 minutes to pray while Daddy's on his way home. Ask God to give you energy to enjoy family time, a positive outlook in case he's bringing home problems he needs to talk about with you, and godly wisdom to help him sort through his day.
4. Tradition? Create a ritual for "daddy time" with your baby while you get things together for your evening meal. Most dads like to play on the floor with baby or take a walk outside. Also, this is a great time to introduce a bottle to your baby if you're a nursing mom.

And what if you work, too? Well, things can get a little complicated once the baby comes along. If you didn't talk about it before the baby's arrival, then it's time to talk about it now. Your evenings should not be spent haphazardly. You don't want to get home and both be wondering what's for supper. You don't want to blame each other for never having a meal together. You don't want to both be griping because the other one doesn't understand how hard you work!

If you both work, then you'll have to have a plan for dinner when you get home. You can each cook one night a week--so that takes care of two nights; fix something easy two nights (soup, salad, or sandwiches), and then have one night when you go out or order in. Whatever you do, have a plan! When you both work, celebrate: "Family's Home!" Enjoy every minute you spend together with your baby!

Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. Proverbs 4:1

~Rebecca

The Return of Date Night

My husband often works out of the home, so we see each other more often than the average couple. But even with all of shared space, we still need a date night!

Last night, we got one in the form of a fantastic marriage seminar with Bill and Pam Farrel, authors of Red Hot Monogamy and Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti. They inspired us to have fun together, write a family mission statement, and date regularly.

Dating is especially a challenge when a new baby comes along. So I want to encourage you to be creative! Why not try:

• A romantic candlelight dinner or dessert at home after baby is asleep


• A stroll through a favorite park with baby - just make sure all the conversation isn't taken up with talk about baby


• Leaving baby with a family member or friend for just one hour while you get coffee together

And of course, there's always red hot monogamy which is probably your husband's favorite date activity! Plus, burning calories in bed will help those pounds come off too! Read more about pleasing your sweet spouse on Father's Day in my article "Father's Day: What Your Husband Really Wants."

Enjoy your Father's Day weekend and remember to put the spotlight on your husband!

Honor your father and your mother. Exodus 20:12

-Arlene

Keeping Baby Safe!

I can't say it hasn't happened to me, because it did.

Years ago, when my youngest was just around 3 months old, I left him in the car--it was just for a couple of seconds, but I will never forget it. Here's how it happened: My husband and I had left our two older children in the care of grandparents while we went to do some shopping. Derek had to stay with me because I was nursing him. I had just gotten out of the car and I turned to wait for Rich, ready to head into the store. "Aren't you forgetting something?" he asked incredulously.

My baby. I had forgotten my baby!

Talk about guilt and shame! I just started bawling because I realized what could have happened, and I started in on myself with all the "what if's"--What if Rich wasn't with me? What if I had gone in the store and stayed? What if something--something awful--had happened to my baby?

I felt like the worst mother in the world. Looking back on it, it wasn't so much that I was a bad mom, it was the fact that I was a creature of habit. Derek was only three months old. I was used to dropping the kids off with grandparents occasionally and letting my mind rest, knowing they were in the best of care. Now, however, I had another child to care for! I was still "ON," even though I felt "OFF" because I didn't have the other two. Does this make sense?

Summer brings hot weather and hot cars, and the danger of leaving a baby in the car is very real. It can happen. Often it happens because people are so entrenched in their habits. A few years ago, a dad who was not used to dropping his son off at daycare left him in the car. The baby fell asleep, the dad had his mind on his work, and he bypassed the daycare, going straight to his office instead. It was a tragic death.

Check out these reminders to get yourself in the HABIT of doing things to insure that your auto-pilot is always tuned in to your baby:

1. Put your purse next to your baby's carseat in the back. You will get your purse when you get your baby out of the car. A dad can put his cellphone or wallet next to the baby's carseat.
2. Get in the habit of talking to your baby as you prepare to exit the car. Announce, "We're here!" before you even unfasten your seatbelt.
3. Avoid using the cute little car shades on the backseat windows. When those are affixed to windows, no one can see if there is a baby back there.

No one thinks she would ever forget her baby. I would have NEVER thought that about myself. Take precautions this summer! Your baby is counting on you!

When pride comes, disgrace follows, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2

~Rebecca

Your Baby, Your Husband

Just because you have a darling 10-pound baby staring into your eyes almost 24 hours a day, don't forget about your other baby...your husband!

Remember those days when he was your baby, your sole focus at home, the recipient of all your attention? Your husband may be experiencing a little post-baby culture shock too. You're getting used to a busy life with baby, and he's getting used to taking care of himself a little more these days.

I want to encourage you to take a moment for your husband today. Write him a note. Tell him that you realize you haven't cooked a real meal in days. Ask for his opinion about something you're facing with your baby. Ask for his help with baby. Don't be the kind of mom who says "I'm the only one who knows how to change a diaper in this house." Let your husband share in the responsibilities, even if he doesn't do everything exactly like you do.

I have been blessed with a talkative, expressive husband who's not afraid to voice his needs (maybe it's because he's Italian and from New York?). He and I recently did a podcast together (a first for us!) called, "She Loses, He Loses" about how both of us needed to lose weight after baby . Isn't it true your husband probably gained a few "sympathy pounds" - ha! On the podcast, my husband James and I talk about what we did to drop the pregnancy pounds together. What does this have to do with loving your husband? Getting your body back is a great way to show you care for your man since physical appearance probably matters a great deal to him. My weekly podcast is called "Losing Weight After Baby" and I hope you'll check out the show.

So this weekend, think of your other baby - your husband - and tell him how much you love him.

Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:8

-Arlene