Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Teaching kids about grief

I don't know where to begin to explain my grief to my kids.  I'm traveling today to Ft. Collins, CO for my Aunt Carolyn's funeral.  Every once in a while a burst of tears will come out of nowhere.  I've heard my kids repeatedly ask, "Why's Mom crying?"  Their daddy doesn't know what to say and I'm not sure I do either.  I can hardly come to terms with my own grief, let alone explain why it hurts so bad to my small children.  The biggest pain of all is that I have no idea if my aunt was saved.  I do not know with certainty that she is in heaven.  She would let me tell her about my relationship with God and she enjoyed scriptures that I shared with her.  But I have no idea if she accepted Jesus's gift of eternal life.  She never would talk about it.  She had a still born child and I think six miscarriages.  Sure, I'd like to believe she's with her babies...but I just don't know.  And that hurts way worse than her just being gone.  

Little by little I explain things to my children about my grief.  I don't think they understand a word I share so I try to keep it brief.  One of my dearest friends shared a great quote from Billy Graham, "Our grief is not a sign of weak faith, but of great love."  That's something my kids seem to comprehend.  It's not that Jesus isn't with me or I'm not asking for his comfort-he is indeed with me and he's the only person I can always turn to.  He is our help in time of need.  He is our rock, comforter, shelter, strong tower.  He hears us when we cry.  And that's what I'm teaching my kiddos today.

Be lifted.

Psalm 34:17
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

1 comment:

Rebecca Ingram Powell said...

Hey Sue,

You are being a real example to your kids in this. Whenever they deal with their own grief, they will remember that they saw their mom crying and expressing her feelings freely. They will remember they heard their mom praying and being real as she tried to communicate her sorrow. You are truly teaching your children through this difficult time!

praying for you!